MarriageMate - Counseling Corner

Marital Counseling
Relationship problems do not occur overnight. It takes time and relationship neglect in order for significant problems in your relationship to develop to the point where you need to consider marriage therapy. If you or your partner do not talk about hurt feelings, the hurt soon turns into resentment. The next stage is "emotional deadening." In this stage you feel like roommates instead of intimate partners.

Once the stage has been reached where a couple's ability to connect and be vulnerable with one another has deteriorated, it may seem as though there is little or no hope for the relationship. This belief is solidified by the fact that the love once felt in the relationship may be overshadowed by feelings of discomfort. Even worse, one may feel alone, even though he or she is involved in an intimate relationship.

The good news is that the right couples therapy can help you save your marriage. With psychotherapy, unhealthy relationship patterns can be changed and a trained therapist can help remove the blocks to intimacy and assist you in reestablishing the bond of closeness you once felt with your partner.

Empowering Questions
What issues do I avoid in my relationship and why do I avoid them?

Why do I keep my hurt feelings inside until they show up later as resentment?

What prevents me from expressing my feelings when I first become aware of them?

Why don't I listen to my partner and try to understand his or her point of view?

Individual Counseling
Designed for individuals who are working toward understanding themselves more fully and creating positive change in their lives.

Through individual counseling, people can talk confidentially with an objective professional to gain insight and find solutions for problems in their lives.

Who Is It For?

People seeking personal growth and enrichment.

People dissatisfied with their life choices.

People suffering from depression and/or anxiety.

People dealing with loss and/or trauma.

People facing major life adjustments.

What Is Involved?

Individual counseling is designed to help people gain the tools necessary to make decisions that will enhance their lives. People suffering from conflict, depression, anxiety, or loneliness will learn to identify their feelings and explore ways to understand and deal with negative emotions.

How Does Individual Counseling Work?

Discuss present problems or goals.

Determine past coping skills.

Learn tools and techniques for change.

Explore current life-style and feelings.

Assess personal resources.

Examine patterns of relating to others.

Develop necessary strategies to achieve goals.

Implement new behaviors, decisions, and choices.

Group Counseling
People seek therapy for various reasons. Many come because they have problems establishing and maintaining healthy, close and gratifying relationships with others. Often, people desire to understand relationships better and wish that they could be honest about their positive and negative feelings with someone. In return, most people want honest feedback.

Group therapy attempts to set up a situation where this sort of honest, interpersonal exploration can transpire. Group members have an opportunity to identify with others who have similar interest, to increase self-awareness, learn alternative ways of looking at personal problems, and to practice being with others in a way that can improve and enrich the quality of each person's life and personal relationships.

Some Issues Discussed in Group Therapy

Developing and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

Body Image

Sexual Orientation Conflicts

Sexual Assault

Emotional Trauma

Incest/Sexual Abuse Survivors

Problems encountered in the university environment

Peer Pressure

Single parenting

During the group meeting time, members take responsibility for their situation by talking about what is troubling them. It will be most helpful and satisfying when individuals talk about their feelings. When people talk about revealing feelings, they are talking about self-disclosure. It is important to keep in mind that the individual determines how much they disclose in a group. The person will not be forced to tell their deepest and innermost thoughts.

Members are encouraged to give feedback to others. Feedback includes expressing your own feelings about what someone says or does. Interaction between group members is highly encouraged and provides each person an opportunity to try out new ways of behaving; it also provides members with an opportunity for learning more about the way they interact with others. What makes this situation unique is that it is a safe environment in which members work to establish a level of trust that allows them to talk personally and honestly. Group trust is enhanced further when all members make a commitment to the group. People who join groups are instructed that the content of the group sessions are confidential; in other words, it is not appropriate for a group member to disclose events of the group to an outside person.

When people come into a group and interact freely with other group members, they usually recreate those difficulties that brought them to group therapy in the first place. Under the direction of a group therapist, the group is able to give support, offer alternatives, and/or gently confront members in such a way that these difficulties become resolved and alternative behaviors are learned. Group therapy also allows a person to develop new social techniques or ways of relating to people.

During group therapy, members begin to see that they are not alone and can be helped. Many times people feel very unique in their problems. It is encouraging to hear that other people have a similar difficulty or have already worked through a problem that deeply disturbs another group member. Because of the climate of trust within the group, members feel free to care about and help each other.